Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
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