That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Randomize
