Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
I can't watch pbs sober anymore
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
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