I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
Randomize