Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
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