well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
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