I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
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