You're a womanizer and a bitch.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
Ladies, if you have recieved this text then you are one of the lucky few friends I have decided to make this proposal to. As you all know, my boyfriend's birthday is in two weeks and I have finally decided on the perfect present. Surprise threesome. Now, there can only be one, this isn't an orgy you know, so I will be rating the ideal candidates on bra size and sluttyness. Experiance will count, references if available. Inbox me your credentials so we can come to a...Satisfying agreement.
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
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