It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Randomize
