She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
Randomize
