I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
Randomize
