They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
Randomize
