Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize