in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
handjob tips. give me some.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
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