my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
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