did you get engaged???
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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