No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
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