I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
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