i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Randomize
