good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
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