Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
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