my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Randomize
