No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
Randomize
