If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
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