dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
wrigley field is MILF paradise
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
Randomize
