I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
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