Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
Randomize
