im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
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