So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
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