Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
You made out with two different species that night
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
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