She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
I love having hate sex.
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
Two words: blizzard sex
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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