Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
I am full of burrito and curiosity
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Randomize
