Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
Randomize
