You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
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