Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
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