OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Randomize