what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
Randomize