She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
