The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
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