she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
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