i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
