On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Randomize
