matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
Randomize