You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
Slut skills are useful in every country.
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
dude. I can hear the air.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
Randomize
