Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
