I'm laying in your front yard are you home
My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
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