I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize