people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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