Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Randomize
