Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
