I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
