oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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