Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
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