I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
what is it with giant penises always finding me
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
Randomize
