I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
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