I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
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