Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Randomize
