Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
Randomize
