dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
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