then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
