He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
I woke up this morning with "guy in polar bear j.crew boxers" written on my stomach along with a 5 digit phone number...
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Randomize
