Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
Randomize
