I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
This baby is an asshole
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
Randomize
