I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
Randomize