your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
My boss' voice literally gives me gas
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
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