I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
Why do I fail so hard at ironing, when I'm a woman and i should be amazing at it?
because god found you far too good at oral sex and had to make all things even?
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
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