About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
