so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
This gyro tastes like lonliness
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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