its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
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